Between Silence and Connection: A Reflection on Solitude
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about solitude, not the kind that isolates us but the one that quietly asks who we are when no one is watching.
Reading Edoardo Albinati’s reflections on loneliness, I found myself nodding at his idea that being human means moving between two needs: the need for others and the need to be left alone. We crave connection, yet we also long for a room of our own, a mental, emotional, or even sonic space where no one’s expectations can reach us.
It’s such a paradox. We scroll through endless feeds of faces and words, trying to feel part of something larger, yet what we miss most is genuine presence—a voice that listens without judgment, a silence that doesn’t feel empty.
I was especially struck by Albinati’s comment that many people who feel deeply lonely are actually married or surrounded by others. That kind of loneliness, the one that grows in proximity, is perhaps the most painful of all. It reminds us that true connection is not about being with someone, but about being seen and understood by them.
And then there’s the line from the Radiohead song Creep:
“I want you to notice when I’m not around.”
That sentence hits differently. It speaks to something primal in all of us, the desire not just to be loved, but to matter enough that our absence is felt.
Maybe that’s why solitude, when embraced consciously, becomes a teacher. It shows us where we’ve been seeking validation instead of understanding, attention instead of connection. It invites us to build inner strength not as armor but as gentle grounding, so that when we meet others again, we can do so from a place of wholeness, not hunger.
For me, solitude is no longer a void to fill. It is a quiet room where I return to listen: to the faint hum of my own thoughts, to the truth beneath all the noise, to the woman I am becoming.
What is solitude for you?
A quiet refuge, a teacher, or something you still resist? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Inspired by “Tra Kafka e i Radiohead: riflessioni sulla solitudine” by Edoardo Albinati, published in Corriere della Sera, Rassegna letteraria, October 3, 2025.